My name is Scott... (awkward pause)
(support group responds HI SCOTT!)
It’s been two seconds since I used my last comma… I think I have a problem.
Whew, that felt good to get off my chest.
My editor calls me the "Comma King." She accuses me of throwing more commas around than Trump's throws insults towards women. In fact, she has rationed my comma allotment for this newsletter and says she will only raise it when I learn to use them responsibly.
Apparently, I am a repeat comma offender and I am headed for punctuation prison! I can live with this as long as they keep me far away from the emoji users… those people are just weird.
Yes, I am a “commie,” (a phrase us comma people use). It's a badge I wear proudly.
I embrace my comma-ness and encourage others to join me in all things comma related. In fact, I may start a comma support group! Why not? After all, commas are free and serve an important purpose. They remind us to pause, take a breath and reflect. They serve notice that something important has been said and must be understood before moving on. The comma helps us to know that what has been said previously, might differ from what is being said down the road.
The comma does not yell like the exclamation point and has far more conviction than the questions mark. The semi-colon? Please... no one even knows what that little twerp does. We all know the semi-colon eats lunch alone in the punctuation cafeteria, while it’s older brother the colon, pretends it doesn’t even exist.
Yes, as far as I can tell, the comma is king! Not convinced, well then, check this out!
As a music teacher, from the moment you wake (far too early), to the moment your head hits the pillow (far too late), your day is PACKED with demands that few people outside of music education will understand. You have 53 minutes of every hour accounted for and the unparalleled pressures of being responsible for hundreds of kids and hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment. With each additional year, the demands grow greater while the time allotment remains stagnant at best and dwindling at worst. Through it all, there is rarely time for anything other than work, work, work!
Consider my Wednesday missives as your weekly comma, a reminder to pause and reflect before moving on. These emails are a chance to talk about something important and understand that what I share next week might differ from and have no connection to what I share this week. If nothing else, let this invasion into your inbox remind you to stop and pause for just one moment.
So before you delete this email (most of you already have), take a minute to stop, think, and breathe. Then forward this on to someone who needs to join our support group.
This is my mission. This is my purpose. This is my role, and I enjoy doing it, because I am a commie!
Thanks for what YOU do!
p.s. Our support meetings are every Wednesday at 9:00 a.m. E.S.T. Feel free to join us, any time.
* This newsletter has not been edited for commas at the request of the Comma King.