Global Warming, Polar Bears, & My Decreasing Intellect!



I’m baaaacccckkkk!

Well, sort of. Okay, not at all. But next week, I’m baaaaacckkk for sure.

For the past two weeks I have been contemplating restarting the e-zine, but I’m just feeling, well, unmotivated. 

Don’t get me wrong, I cherish this time together and enjoy writing and sharing ideas, honestly, I do. But,I just couldn’t get myself to hunker down and do what needed to be done.

Blame it on a brutal travel schedule, or lack of sleep. Blame it on my other writing commitments or cluttered inbox. Blame it on my 8 year old (a favorite tactic of his sibling), but none of it would be true. The real culprit in my lack of productivity?

It’s global warming. 

Yep, let the blame fall where it belongs, on green house gasses. Seriously, your inability to carpool is killing my productivity so KNOCK IT OFF WOULD YOU?

Sure, everyone is talking about abnormal weather patterns and rising sea levels and I know that watching the plight of the polar bear and our disappearing ice caps is profoundly concerning, but can we all agree that I’m the real victim here! Seriously, my once razor sharp mind and witty sartorial skills are of paramount concern. Will THEY be put on the endangered species list? 

Yes, global warming has made me dumber (and you as well).

In a recent study, scientists from the Harvard Center for Climate, Health, and the Global Environment observed that students who lived and studied in well air conditioned environments performed better academically than their warmer counterparts. 

Specifically, students who were placed in optimal learning environments (72 degrees) showed greater cognition speed and memory than those who studied in temperatures closer to 80 degrees. It was also discovered that in higher temperatures that test answers were not just more inaccurate, but the answers came slower.

In short, researchers found that cognition efficiency and effectiveness decreased by 10% in sub-optimal temperatures.

The study did not evaluate what happens to students exposed to temperatures in excess of 90 to 100 degrees, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the expected results. So what does this mean?

I think we can all agree that there’s certainly a level of absurdity in this outdoor activity we call marching band. Did marching in the heat make us dumb or were we dumb for even going outside in the first place? Chicken or egg type question, I suppose.

As many of you approach your summer camps in this scorching heat, be mindful of the sacrifice that is made in pursuit of perfection. These kids are not paid to be here. They strive to achieve in the face of obstacles physical, financial, academic, and emotional. They pursue perfection, even at their own peril. 

They do it for love of the activity. They do it for love of their friends. They do it for love of performing. But, they all do it to show their love for you also. And that should make you feel all warm inside, which according to Harvard is making you dumber.

But don’t take my word for it; I’m getting dumber by the second, I live in Phoenix.