IF/THEN
This past weekend I was in New York for a series of workshops. During an off night, my wife and I ducked into the city to catch Idina Menzel in her new musical, "IF/THEN." (The chance to hear her sing something other than Let It Go was something we just couldn’t pass up!)
"IF/THEN" tells the story of woman named Elizabeth (Menzel) who makes an unassuming choice in the park one day that alters her life forever. The play follows the different paths her life could have taken had only she made a different choice on that fateful day. The production was incredible in every way.
Afterwards, I was thinking of all of the seemingly innocuous choices I have made in my life and how they have led me to the pathway I am on today. Unlike the play, there is no way for me to know how my life might have played out had my choices been different. But it was interesting to think about and reflect upon what is, and what might have been.
The process was so interesting that I thought I would share it with you. Obviously, the questions are as infinite as the answers are, so I will keep them professional in nature. Want to play along? (That was a rhetorical question BTW). I will pose the IF, and you provide the THEN.
IF I had chosen a different instrument in elementary school, THEN...?
IF I had chosen not to be in music, THEN…?
IF I had gone to a different high school, THEN…?
IF I had gone to a different college, THEN…?
IF I had left or stayed at my previous job, THEN…?
IF my spouse/partner felt differently about my job, THEN…?
IF I had not become a teacher, THEN…?
IF I could no longer teach, THEN…?
IF I could make one different choice in my career, THEN…?
In the interest of candor and honesty, let me share the following. I lack psychic powers and I am not well read enough to wax philosophic. I am not trained in the science of psychology and frankly my gut instincts are almost always completely wrong. But, having met many music educators in my life, my belief is that the pathways created by and through music are richer and more rewarding than the paths not chosen. In other words, your IF/THEN is not as good as your HERE/NOW.
At least I know that it is true for me.
The loss is more painful than the victory is sweet
Like everyone else on Sunday, I was glued to the television for the annual American epic event known as the Super Bowl. During the pre-game telecast, John Madden was quoted as saying, “Having been on both sides of the record, I can tell you the pain of defeat is greater than the sweetness of victory.”
I believe there is truth in that. Granted, I have never played in the Super Bowl, but as a life-long Bills fan and a band director, I know a thing or two about the pain of defeat. Like both teams, my victories/good days outnumbered my defeats/bad days ten to one, but it is the bad days that I remember the most.
I know that I am not alone in this. I also know that the angst, uncertainty, and pressures of being a music educator can, at times, eclipse the joy of the fact that we get to make music each and every day. I also know that most of us feel and remember the bad days, deeper and longer than we feel and remember the good ones. We fester over the students who quit more so than we celebrate the students who stayed. We fuss over the wrong notes more than we praise the right ones. It is an occupational hazard to be sure.
Is it possible to have the joy without the pain, or the pain without the joy? Probably not. Keep in mind, the recent measles outbreak started in the happiest place in the world, Disneyland. Oh, the irony. Yes, I agree with Mr. Madden to a point. I do believe that the loss is more painful than the victory is sweet.
But both are better than not having played at all. If you don’t believe me, just ask my Buffalo Bills or the other 30 teams that were at home watching the game in there living room just like me (although, I suspect their living room is nicer than mine).
At times, the pain of this profession can and will outweigh the joys. But at least you get to play in the game, and that is better than the alternative.
After all, your worst day in a classroom making music, is better than your best day in a cubicle.
I am the world's worst secret keeper!
The combination of no impulse control, a guilty conscience, and an overactive imagination makes me the worst secret keeper in the world. I have the best intentions, and don’t want to spill the beans, but inevitably, I do. Let’s just say that if there is something you are trying to hide, something you don't want anyone else to know: DON'T TELL ME.
Having said that, I have been doing a pretty good job of keeping some secrets lately. I’m not talking about the “I know who killed Kennedy” type secret, but secrets none the less. Believe me, I am just DYING to tell someone. Thank goodness you aren't here.
Next week, at TMEA (Texas Music Educator’s), we will be letting the cat out of the bag. In fact, the secret involves several cats. It's is like a LITTER of cats coming out of this bag. I am not sure who put the cats in there, but if you could keep that a secret from the folks at PETA, I would appreciate it. As I mentioned, I am not good at keeping secrets.
The Uncomfortable Truth
If there is extra time at the end of a workshop, I will take some questions. Last night, a young lady raised her hand and asked, “Why do you do what you do?” No one had ever asked me that, and frankly, it had me stumped. My first inclination was to answer with the standard and safe answer: “I do it for the children.” But anyone who has been to one of my workshops knows that I am anything but standard and safe. So I answered her question with the truth, as uncomfortable as it may be. I told her that "I teach for me."
And as long as we’re at it, I should tell you that kids are not why I became a teacher. I didn’t do it to change the world or shape the future, or any of that tree-hugging liberal stuff. Like I said, I don’t teach for the children. So why do I teach?
I do it for selfish reasons; I teach for me!
I know this doesn’t make for an emotive or evocative ad campaign. It also isn’t likely to be the banner headline on the American Educators’ Association convention, although I think it should be. I would also suspect that you aren’t likely to find “I teach for me!” greeting cards or bumper stickers during Teacher Appreciation Week. But for me, it is my truth.
Teachers are one of the few professional groups that have turned going to work into a badge of honor. Some walk the halls of our schools and the aisles of our community grocery stores carrying the weight of self-imposed martyrdom. They act as if their jobs and their professional lives are such a burden, but as martyrs, they willingly carry it so that others’ loads may be lighter.
Not me! I enjoy teaching. I enjoy going to work in a place where I am challenged on a creative and an analytical level. I like being in a place where I have control and can see the fruits of my labor. I like working with young, energetic people who like to laugh. I like teenagers. I like being the decision-maker and the person who gets to make the call. I enjoy the fact that I work with kids and adults, and yes, if I am to be completely honest, my ego doesn’t exactly mind being the center of attention for four hours a day.
For you it may be different. For you it may be “all about the kids.” But for me, it’s not.
Call me a selfish pig. Call me a jackass! Call me immature! Call me what you want, but I teach because I like to giggle. I teach because I get to do what I want, when I want and how I want to do it. I teach because I get a “do over” every time I walk into a room. I teach because I get to avoid spending large amounts of time with grumpy grownups. I teach because I hate Excel spreadsheets and terms like “360-degree analysis”. I teach because I dislike memos and the some of the people who write them. I teach because my cubicle is 10,000 square feet and I get a standing ovation more often than not. I teach for a paycheck, health insurance, and retirement. I teach for me!
Why is it so hard to admit that? Why do educators go to such great pains to paint themselves and this profession in a light that is less than flattering? Why are we so embarrassed to say that we chose our profession because it brings us joy AND it just so happens to serve a greater calling?
I am not ashamed that I’m happy. I am not embarrassed that I like my job. I am not a martyr and you need not pity me. I chose this work and I enjoy it. I’m happy, and your pity would be better spent on someone who doesn’t get to do what they want to do and that's not me.
I teach because I enjoy it. I teach because it’s what I want to do. I teach because it makes me feel good. I recognize that the byproduct is that I do it for children, but I do it for of me.
I teach for me.
Anyone want to buy that bumper sticker?
Have a great week and stay warm!
Interesting Image
Static Electricity gone wrong
Have you ever walked into a room that was filled with static electricity? You can almost feel the energy in the air and in everything you touch. It truly is an “electric” atmosphere.
Thanks to Wikipedia, I now know that static electricity happens when the outer layer of an atom (the positive layer) gets rubbed off. This incidental contact creates an imbalanced atom and leaves it negatively charged.
For instance, when you come in from the cold and remove your hat, the proton is transferred from your hair to your hat, thus leaving your hair with a negative static charge. When two objects with the same negative charge come into contact with one another, they try and repel each other with force. Hence, the shock you feel. Think of it as two negative attitudes looking for a fight.
Music rooms all over our country are experiencing this phenomenon on a grand scale. Whether it is the long nights and short days, the passing of Christmas, or the onslaught of the new semester, the result is the same. Our rehearsal halls are filled students charged up with negative energy. The result? Negative people looking to get as far away from each other as possible.
This could not come at a worse time. With registration right around the corner, the last thing we want to do is shock and repel people. We want to attract and retain them. But in order to do this, we have to turn the negative energy into positive energy.
Perhaps tomorrow you might teach a little less and smile a little more. Perhaps you might break through the cold with some warmth. Perhaps you might look a little harder for reasons to laugh and look the other way at the things that frustrate you. Perhaps you might scream triumphantly for the right notes and save the wrong ones for tomorrow. Perhaps tomorrow’s one and only goal is to remove the static electricity from the room.
After all, losing electricity is way better than losing a student.
Have a “positive” day tomorrow.
The Used Car Salesman and the Chevy Vega
With the middle of January comes the annual angst associated with recruiting and registration. You know what I’m talking about, that time of year when we walk the fine line between honesty and used car salesmanship. You want to be honest about the commitment and workload associated with your classes, but you also want to attract as many students as possible.
In thinking about this challenge, I thought I would share this with you. A recently released study of teen and pre-teen students determined that;
- 85% say they sometimes wish they had more fun when playing
- 84% say that at one time they quit or wanted to quit. Why?
- 47% say because “it wasn't any fun”
- 29% say some students were mean
- 23% say there were too many practices that interfered with other activities
I know what you’re thinking. “We know Scott, we hear this stuff every day!”
Perhaps, but this was not a survey of music students, it was a survey regarding student participation in athletics.
The challenges we face are not unique to music or any other activity. I also suspect that they are not unique to this generation. I genuinely believe, and have evidence to support the notion that today's students are working harder and achieving more than any previous generation.
The bottom line is that kids (and people in general) are attracted to success. They don’t mind commitment and hard work as long as they and their parents feel that it is working toward a positive end. Kids and parents all too often hear the message that “the arts are struggling, are in trouble, and need to be saved."
Who wants to join doom and gloom?
Who wants to board a sinking ship?
Who wants to spend their days with one foot in the grave?
Not me! And I suspect that I am not alone in this. And more importantly, IT’S NOT TRUE!
I think we are on the precipice of a music renaissance unlike anything we have seen in recent memory. I think we are on the verge of a reemergence of music in our public and private schools. In the coming decade, I believe that successful music teachers and music programs will become highly celebrated and sought after components of our school systems.
I share this with you because I think it is important for you to know. I share this with you because I think it is important for your students to know. I think it is important for you to share the message of what music can do for a child, but do it with some swagger and an air of success.
In the coming weeks, as you talk to students and adults about your program and what it has to offer, keep in mind that you have something they need. You have something that is successful. You have something that makes a difference. You have something they want.
A Chevy Vega (my first car) has to be sold. A Tesla sells itself. This activity is no Vega.
The Long View
We’re back! Did you miss us? If not, keep it to yourself because our feelings are easily hurt.
On New Year’s Day, a group of my former students started posting online about their own experience with the Tournament of Roses Parade. One thing led to another and before I knew it, someone had posted old show videos, concerts, and other memorabilia. I tried to stay away from the fray, so as not to detract from their dialogue, but like a raccoon seeing a shiny object, I could not resist. I watched, listened, and read everything that was posted.
As I watched the videos, all I could hear were the imperfections of an inexperienced teacher; truncated notes and incomplete phrases layered over marching technique that was clearly outdated. I wondered if my students saw and heard what I did. I wondered if they picked up on all of the mistakes. I wondered if they knew that that they would have had an even better experience if I were their teacher now instead of twenty years ago
As I read through the comments, no one seemed to notice or care about the outdated marching style or poor musical choices. In fact, they didn’t even mention anything music or marching related. All they remembered was their experiences they had and the impact it had on them. It turns out that in their minds, they had a perfect experience, despite imperfect performances. I was amazed that even after so much time, they were able articulate the impact of their band experience in such an eloquent way
One of the things that makes music different than other curricula is that the assessment of it’s impact is unknown for years, if not decades. Yes, you receive ratings and rankings in the moment, but these do not assess the life long impact of the activity.
Assessment requires exact indicators and precise measurements. It requires adherence to a time table and consistency of administration. We achieve all of this through festivals, contests, and performances. I am confident that my assessment of these long ago performances is correct. I am just not sure that I am ready to assess the impact of them as that may take more time to determine.
How much time?
Check back with me on New Year’s Day 2025.
Cyber Monday and the Alamo
As I write this, it is Monday, December 1st, otherwise known as “Cyber Monday” and my inbox is under siege, I'm talking about a full-on assault of spam-filled, useless, pretend price reduction crap that makes me truly wonder if the internet is not just some big Sears catalog. My spam filter is putting up a valiant fight, but I think even he knows that the battle has been lost and all that remains is the reverent playing of taps. I think Cyber Monday should be followed up by “Leave Me Alone Tuesday!"
In order to be able to effectively advertise and still sleep at night, you have to convince yourself that your uninvited invasion is actually doing the recipient a favor. That somehow, despite the presence of Google, Bing, Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Safari, without your inbox insurgence, they might otherwise be completely unaware and unable to locate you. It is an act of cognitive dissonance to be sure.
I know this, because I practice this ritual on a weekly basis. Without asking, or even warning, I barge in each and every Wednesday like the obnoxious party crasher than no one invited. In order to do this and still have a shred of self respect, I convince myself that my missives have said something you need to hear. I realize that this is somewhat delusional, but like I said, you do what you have to do to sleep at night.
It's not likely that I will stop barging in. After all, I am nothing if not persistent. But, it occurs to me that I have not genuinely thanked you for allowing me to stay. I have enjoyed are chats and am thankful for our time together. Well, that and the fact you haven’t called the police on me.
Oh, and I'll be back next week, because I have something you are REALLY going to need and love!
I'm not a good secret keeper!
The combination of no impulse control, a guilty conscience, and an overactive imagination makes me the worst secret keeper in the world. I have the best intentions, and don’t want to spill the beans, but inevitably, I do. Let’s just say that if there is something you are trying to hide, something you don't want anyone else to know: DON'T TELL ME.
Having said that, I have been doing a pretty good job of keeping some secrets lately. I’m not talking about the “I know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried” type secret, but secrets none the less. Believe me, I am just DYING to tell someone. Thank goodness you aren't here.
Over the next couple of weeks, we will be letting the cat out of the bag. In fact, we're going to let several cats out of the bag. Honestly, it is like a LITTER of cats coming out of this bag. I am not sure who put the cats in there, but if you could keep that a secret from the folks at PETA, I would appreciate it. As I mentioned, I am not good at keeping secrets.
More next week, but until then...
Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the time away from school!
Clean out the clutter!
One of my favorite days of the year was the first Monday after the end of marching band. I would sleep in, arrive to school AFTER the sunrise, dress in normal clothes, and enjoy a cup of coffee in the cozy and quiet confines of my office. What followed for the remainder of the day was a thorough and well orchestrated cleaning of the entire facility. Marching instruments and equipment were cleaned and put away, silks were folded, music was filed, lockers were inspected, pit carts were disassembled and the smelly old clothes and shoes were banished. We would play rock music over the sound system and giggle while we cleaned. I LOVED this day.
It was more than a physical cleaning, it was a mental and emotional cleansing. It afforded all of us a chance to put away the baggage of the past sixteen weeks and review our commitment to the remaining challenges ahead. There was a little sadness, and some relief, but most of all, it was an acknowledgement and an acceptance that it was time now to focus on other pursuits. It truly was a fresh start for everyone!
Whether your season ended in success or disappointment does not change the fact that everyone needs closure...physical, emotional and intellectual. Now is the time for a fresh start for the room and the people in it!