Cyber Monday and the Alamo

As I write this, it is Monday, December 1st, otherwise known as “Cyber Monday” and my inbox is under siege, I'm talking about a full-on assault of spam-filled, useless, pretend price reduction crap that makes me truly wonder if the internet is not just some big Sears catalog. My spam filter is putting up a valiant fight, but I think even he knows that the battle has been lost and all that remains is the reverent playing of taps. I think Cyber Monday should be followed up by “Leave Me Alone Tuesday!"
In order to be able to effectively advertise and still sleep at night, you have to convince yourself that your uninvited invasion is actually doing the recipient a favor. That somehow, despite the presence of Google, Bing, Firefox, Internet Explorer, and Safari, without your inbox insurgence, they might otherwise be completely unaware and unable to locate you. It is an act of cognitive dissonance to be sure.
I know this, because I practice this ritual on a weekly basis. Without asking, or even warning, I barge in each and every Wednesday like the obnoxious party crasher than no one invited. In order to do this and still have a shred of self respect, I convince myself that my missives have said something you need to hear. I realize that this is somewhat delusional, but like I said, you do what you have to do to sleep at night.
It's not likely that I will stop barging in. After all, I am nothing if not persistent. But, it occurs to me that I have not genuinely thanked you for allowing me to stay. I have enjoyed are chats and am thankful for our time together. Well, that and the fact you haven’t called the police on me.  

Oh, and I'll be back next week, because I have something you are REALLY going to need and love!